It’s like I’m standing at the edge of cliff, God standing behind me with a loaded 45 pointed at the back of my head. The choice is simple; I can take fate into my own hands or trust in God. My only thoughts are, if God can let his only son be whipped and murdered, what would he have in store for me? Guess it’s time to take the leap, either way I’m fucked.
A thousand dollars in cash and the clothes on my back are all I take. The cash isn’t mine and the clothes on my back were lent to me, but I’ll pay my roommate back someday. Unless she gets married or changes her name somehow, in that case she’s out of luck. I bought myself a bus ticket out of this small nowhere to go but down city and I need to leave today before my bookie finds me. I may owe my roommate a thousand dollars, but the bookie well I may owe him a little bit more. About twenty times more, and he’s sick of waiting for it. Not that I have a gambling problem or anything, I mean how was I supposed to know that a sure thing wasn’t really a sure thing?
Its days like these that make me wish I had hit it big; money makes the world go round and because of my lack of funds it seems like my world has stopped. Not only did I steal from the only person who helped me when I was kicked out on the streets, but I haven’t paid my part of the rent in months. I should have stopped this minor habit when the repo men came and took my car, but I thought since I had already made such a large investment it would someday all come back to me.
Leaving the two bedroom apartment I take the main exit to the street. The crowded street seems safer than the alley ways and side streets that would have been my only other options. Putting up the hood of my green Nike sweatshirt I hope that if I’m being watched, I would be mistaken for my roommate. Luckily we were about the same size and height and since last night with the help of some hair dye we were now both blondes. With the first step I take onto the street, my hands begin to tremble. The confidence I had for my grand escape starts to dwindle and the realization of how far the greyhound station is from my apartment starts to set in.
Two miles isn’t that far, C’mon Amy get your shit together
Moving with the flow of traffic with my pedestrian counterparts, my left hand clings to the guess purse I’m carrying; another gift from my roommate. The heat of the august sun starts to get to me, wiping the sweat from my forehead I know I can’t stop, can’t rest, not for anything or anyone.
Six blocks down, I can do this
With every corner I scan the sea of faces, hoping not to see a face staring back. I nervously glance at the cars parked on the side of the street; so far the coast has been clear. With every car that passes by my heart pounds. Passing another stop light my feet begin to numb. I keep my mechanical stride, hoping that I haven’t overlooked a car or person on my way to the bus station.
Only two blocks left, don’t slow down and you might just make it
As a tall man brushes against me and my breath stops, tears start to form in my eyes as the unfazed man continues ahead of me without ever looking back. I take another look around; my counterparts have all changed faces since I left my apartment. My right hand wipes the tears from my eyes as I gasp for air. As I turn the corner I see the entrance to the bus station.
Austin Texas here I come
Making my way up the stairs and to the entrance my hand shakily reaches for the door, almost throwing myself into the station I take one more look back, nobody. In a haze I find myself finally boarding my bus, freedom only a few short steps away, with my get out of jail free card clutched in my hand. Giving my ticket to the bus driver I slide into the closet empty seat I can find, sitting as far away from the window as I can get. As the bus starts to leave the station I finally relax, the movement of the bus lulling me into a tranquil trance. The sounds of an elderly lady scuffling up the narrow isle of the bus snaps me back into reality. Wearing a blue pillow case looking dress matched with what seems to be a Sunday best hat she stops next to me. I try to avoid eye contact with this geriatric stranger but after a few awkward seconds I finally look up.
“Can I help you ma’am?”
“Oh sweetie I just hate to travel alone and I noticed you sitting up here all by yourself. Tell me, would you mind moving over and keeping me company? I’m getting off in the next stop so I won’t be much of a bother”
Reluctantly I move over in my seat. I stare out the window to try and avoid conversation.
“My names Edna you want to tell me where you’re going?”
“California” slides off my tongue before I have a chance to think of a better lie. I keep myself facing the window hoping Edna gets the hint that I am not interested in having a traveling buddy or making conversation.
“Oh now, I think we both know that’s not true. Let me take a guess at where it is your going…let’s see, Austin Texas? Does that sound about right sweetie?”
My head jerks in Edna’s direction, a genuine smile appears on her face. My face begins to flush and my stomach turns to knots.
My voice shakes as I mumble back
“No ma’am, California”
Taking in the entirety that is Edna I realize the small black woven purse she has been carrying.
“Well Amy my sources must not be as good as I thought they were or I must be getting too old for this sort of thing, because I could have sworn they told me that you bought a ticket to Austin. My face must be as red as yours right about now. Either way you’re not going to Austin or to California, you’re getting your precious little blonde head off at the next stop with me”
Without taking her eyes off of me she reaches her free hand to open her purse just enough for me to see the shining metal of a 45.
“You can make a scene if you want sweetie I’m not going to hurt you with so many witnesses around, but I think it’s in your best interest to come with me when we get to the next stop. My grandson, who I think you know very well will be meeting me there. You really only have two options, keep running or work your debt off.”
My options were limited as I sat cornered on this bus by a little old lady; the next stop only an hour and a half away. I stared at my capturer in all her four foot glory, my sense of security stripped from me by a geriatric and her gun.
“You don’t have to give me an answer now, but you’ve only got about an hour or so to make up your mind sweetie, I really hope you make the right decision.”
